parenting |opinions |photography
Change |
Consider how hard it is to change YOURSELF, and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others. ~Jacob M. Braude
parenting |opinions |photography
Consider how hard it is to change YOURSELF, and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others. ~Jacob M. Braude
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Have you ever attended a Church service as a visitor; filled out a visitor card, dropped it in the “bowl” that got passed around?Many years ago, sometime during my mid 20’s, I am now 43, so it seems like forever ago; I needed a place to live, I was moving yet again. Friends of my Mom, a Southern Baptist Preacher and his Wife, had a rental house available directly behind their home. It was perfect, well maybe not perfect, more like, I didn’t have to wait to move in and the rent was cheap.
I gave little thought; I was thoughtful like that during my 20′s. I gave no thought to what it might be like living directly behind, on the same property, got to use the same driveway, which, gave new meaning to drive by, and the potential of seeing Mr. and Mrs. Preacher Man every day, yet, I concluded that it was, indeed, a good idea.
Why not? Well, let me tell you why not, it wasn’t conducive to the type of lifestyle I was living. I was full of self-will, selfishness and partied… a lot!
After living there for a while, I began to feel uncomfortable, not because of them, they were kind, available yet quiet; it was me… all me! I was painfully aware of my short-comings; therefore, it was time to do something different.
Something different, as in, change… change locations that is!
You didn’t think I was going to say change myself, did you?
Nope wasn’t ready…
Believing hellfire and brimstone, I was fairly certain, God did not approve of my behavior, therefore, he was going to open up the heavens and throw lightning rods at me. It was time to move.
Little did I know behind the [life] scenes were a little something, something being conjured up; staying there for just a short time, receiving a valuable lesson and an unforgettable gift and contrary to what I thought… it did not include lightning… a burning bush maybe, but no lightning.
Living the way I did falling lightning rods seemed more than plausible. It was time to vacate and set up residency somewhere else. Some call it geographical fix.
Years later, I would reflect over my time there and realize that Mr. and Mrs. Preacher Man gave me something no one else had ever given me; the gift of sureness.
They were the first to show me that people are capable of having principles and living by them. They always said what they meant, meant what they said and said it kind. They were honest, consistent and trustworthy. They never once apologized for their lifestyle. It was as if they were comfortable in their own skin… ah, can you imagine?
I am today; comfortable and content being me… it was one of those life experiences that seemed painful, yet turned out to be one that I am forever grateful to have experienced!
I’m older now; sober, working at unsubscribing to old ideas and living differently than I once did. I am not so closed-minded, as I once was. I may not agree with or even believe in the same things as those that are “religious” or different than me, but experience has taught me that I can stand firm in my beliefs, while about others for their beliefs and not exhaust myself trying to prove my way is right or better.
I began reflecting on my past religious experiences and thinking about the current debate now going on about religious freedoms and same-sex marriage, and it got me to wondering, which, normally prompts me to read, discuss my thoughts… oh, and have I mentioned I’m opinionated?
If you haven’t, read the following at your own risk. Not to mention, I am probably taking the less politically correct, likeable view… one arrived at after processing information, reading and discussing with others.
I heard on the radio, read on the internet and saw it on the news; people planning protests, celebrities speaking out, some companies and politicians speaking against CFA’s, which, at first, it personally made me want to hurl… I am a colossal supporter of freedom; I am neither religious nor lesbian, but I am an American, and I support a persons right (PERIOD), including religious freedoms, as well as, same-sex marriages. Why would I want an opinion on who some one else wants to marry or their religious preference?
I’ll be honest, at first, I felt conflicted, because I am a HUGE believer in Freedom… if, someone wants to get married, as long as, it isn’t uncle trying to marry his sisters kid, I say leave it up to the people involved and a Church.
I am normally in favor of choice, which, is why I believe Chick Fil A has a right to choose how their money is spent… the donations were made by Chick Fil A; a privately held company, donations were not made illegally and they are being very up front.
If people are offended by and no longer want to do business with Chick Fil A, or any other business for that matter, it is their right and quite frankly none of my business. Although, it does bother me as a citizen of the US that Chick Fil A is singled out.
Mayor of Boston sends Letter to Chick Fil A |I'm curious did the Mayor of Boston…
FactCheck.org http://www.factcheck.org/2011/03/who-sells-american-gasoline/
Click + for more information.
I find the “Boston Mayor” letter incredibly preposterous… I wonder if he is aware that there are at least three Shell Gas Stations in Boston. Do you know where Shell Oil and other Oil companies buy Oil from? OPEC. Are you familiar with what they do in the middle east if you are gay? Yet, the Mayor of Boston seems to welcome Shell Oil, but has a problem with Chick Fil A. If preventing or suggesting establishments are not welcome to set up shop in your State; I am curious, is that all companies or just Chick Fil A?
Shell Locations in Boston
Click + for more information.
I am not upset over people expressing their right to boycott and tell others of their own personal stance; I would like the same in return, but I’ll tell you, I am upset over politicians, celebrities and people stirring up a shit storm…
Why are they not doing the same over oil companies that buy from OPEC, why aren’t they suggesting that we boycott companies that buy foreign oil? Do you know what happens in the countries that founded OPEC, if you are “found guilty of being gay”? You are put to DEATH, or you get TWO THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED lashes and imprisonment! Yes, you read that right…
LGBT Rights are unrecognized…
http://wikiislam.net/wiki/Persecution_of_Homosexuals#Main_Page |Nine young Saudi men are each sentenced to at least 2,400 lashes and at least five years in prison for “deviant sexual behavior.
Click + for more information.
Are you familiar with the bazillions (give or take a few) discrimination lawsuits against Wal-Mart? The largest civil action suit filed by women against the GIANT and The Supreme ruled that basically Wal-Mart is too big… too big! Not to mention, all the other law suits and settlements against them. Sigh!
What about Nike?
What about Sears?
What about Taco Bell?
WalMart: Walmart Gender Discrimination Lawsuit May Make US History as Largest Class Action… WalMart Stores Inc. has agreed to pay $17.5 million to settle a class action lawsuit… OPEC (Petro/Gas)| Saudi Arabia one of the founding members| Islamic rules ban homosexuality. Nine young Saudi men are each sentenced to at least 2,400 lashes and… OPEC: The Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) was founded in Baghdad, Iraq, with the signing of an agreement in September 1960 by five countries namely Islamic Republic of Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and Venezuela. They were to become the Founder Members of the Organization.
Nike Inc., $7.6 million settlement: race discrimination… Taco Bell Settle Religious Discrimination Lawsuit…
Click + For Source and Additional Information
Are all companies held to the same moral standard?
http://www.huliq.com/10559/walmart-gender-discrimination-lawsuit-may-make-us-history-largest-class-action: You’ve heard about firms that are too big to fail. Now the Supreme Court has declared that some companies are too big to be sued for discrimination. On Monday, the court threw out Dukes v. Walmart, the largest sex-discrimination lawsuit in history, waged against the world’s biggest company, essentially on the grounds that it dealt with too many women.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123516971846636581.html Wal-Mart Stores Inc. WMT +1.15% has agreed to pay $17.5 million to settle a class action lawsuit accusing the world’s largest retailer of discriminating against African-Americans in recruitment and hiring of truck drivers for its private fleet.
http://wikiislam.net/wiki/Persecution_of_Homosexuals#Main_Page “Nine young Saudi men are each sentenced to at least 2,400 lashes and at least five years in prison for “deviant sexual behavior” It quoted an Interior Ministry statement as saying that a court had found the three men guilty of “committing the extreme obscenity of homosexuality and imitating women,’’ in violation of Islamic rules which ban homosexuality.
http://www.gcconsulting.com/articles/120202/73/Nike-Settles-Lawsuit-to-the-Tune-of-7-6-Million |Nike, Inc., is now $7.6 million poorer, thanks to a recent settlement in a race discrimination lawsuit filed against the company. The class action lawsuit was filed against the athletic-apparel conglomerate on behalf of 400 current and former black employees who worked at Niketown in Chicago from 1999 to the present.
http://www.askdro.com/2011/10/ex-sears-employee-settles-discrimination-lawsuit-for-5-2-million/ |A man sued Sears after one of his supervisors repeatedly used racial slurs against him. Medro Johnson, who is black, filed a lawsuit against the company after his complaints to supervisors went unanswered. Paul St. Hilaire approached Mr. Johnson at a company barbecue and said, “Medro calls me Masta, in slave dialect,” before walking off laughing. Mr. Johnson, 49, was humiliated because he was standing with his wife, son and daughter.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/30/taco-bell-religious-discrimination-lawsuit_n_1465590.html Taco Bell Pays $27,000 To Settle Religious Discrimination Lawsuit Posted: 04/30/2012 4:32 pm Updated: 05/01/2012 2:51 am The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has announced that Family Foods, Inc., a company that operates a number of Taco Bell restaurants in North Carolina, has agreed to pay $27,000 to settle a religious discrimination lawsuit they filed last year on behalf of an employee that was fired after refusing to cut his hair for religious reasons.
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Brenda Aug 1 2012 - 5:02 pm
I do live under a rock. It’s the big one at the back of the garden, but the koi pond. Still news of this sort has way of making all the way back to my hideaway. I am always aghast when people get righteous about something to the extreme, when as you say, we still have issues unresolved so much closer and bigger and uglier.
Brenda recently posted..Taking Chances
mommetime Aug 2 2012 - 7:59 pm
your rocks sounds wonderful
…. righteous to the extreme… aghast ~yes, me too!
Grass Oil Aug 1 2012 - 9:12 pm
A – i smiled, truly grinned, when i read your lines: “It was as if they were comfortable in their own skin… ah, can you imagine?
I am today; comfortable and content being me… ” i know what you mean. i was thinking about this very same thing today – the comfort in my own skin, and i think i’m almost there. i’m putting my “foot” down on many things; i am becoming my spirit.
i agree with you about CFA – i don’t care about gay marriage, i really couldn’t care less about it. and i might still buy a CFA milkshake because they’re really outstanding. people want to be angry and single out because it makes them feel more powerful. all i know, after 44 years (32 of them more conscious than many and the last 10 more conscious than them all): being angry makes me feel out of control and small.
i love this post. thank you. change is good. change is inevitable. -m
Grass Oil recently posted..False F(r)iendship, Feeling Unseen, Unheard and Dressing Very Old Wounds
mommetime Aug 2 2012 - 8:11 pm
oh…the milkshakes are yummy. my favorite is the cookies and cream.
i have been working on anger… a lot. someone told me that anger lets us know something is wrong, she suggested I work on acknowledging the anger and learn healthy ways to channel it… I know often times in the past I’ve wanted to change someone or an opinion; I am learning about letting go of the outcome.
I cracked up reading “the last 10 more conscious than them all” …. oh boy do I relate to that… in a big way!
One tired mama Aug 1 2012 - 9:16 pm
I loved this! You really put a lot of time into this. I too am sick of hearing about this! The whole thing is so dumb anyway. A Christian company against gay marriage… Wow! What a shock! Even if you disagree, why is everyone acting like they are so wrong? They are all self righteous in their own way! I still shop at JC Penney, watch Disney movies, and eat at Chik Fil A
mommetime Aug 2 2012 - 8:15 pm
you are awesome! we would be without places to shop if boycotting was the answer, and most certainly would not have a Walmart on just about every corner street in America.
Jan Neel Aug 2 2012 - 12:31 am
Marry who you want I say…Throw a fit because a company voices an opinion, whatever. I have better things to do. Like try to figure out my own issues, I do not have time nor energy for someone else’ s. I shop where I need too and eat where I please. I don’t agree with large companies in general, but sadly, that is a large part of this wonderful country…
Jan Neel recently posted..The Wild Game Park
mommetime Aug 2 2012 - 8:19 pm
exactly what you said! I am the same way…
this is about individual freedoms; one of the things that set me off were companies and politicians that showed their opposition.
Corinne Rodrigues Aug 2 2012 - 8:19 am
One big loud Amen, sister! I am aware of the CFA debate and had a quiet laugh when a Republican cousin of mine sent out a mail to the clan saying he was going to eat at CFA. Who cares, I thought? But I was wrong to think that way – because an over-religious cousin in India thought it necessary to respond to him saying how she was unaware of this issue but had now seen the ‘light’!!!
And you’re so right about Shell and its atrocities in Nigeria and the OPEC nations laws.
Thank you for sharing your spiritual journey – I think when we all need to make our own faith journeys and settle on what suits us and not try to dictate what works for other people.
More freedom, less religion, I say!
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Learning Culinary Skills
mommetime Aug 2 2012 - 8:30 pm
thank you.
when public officials started voicing opposition with what a privately owned company does, I felt so outraged, just the thought of losing individual freedoms, makes me go, GAH! even more so when it it hypocritical…
I support the same…more freedom, less religion!
Shannon Milholland Aug 2 2012 - 4:53 pm
I really enjoyed reading some of your background. What wonderful people you once lived behind. I love how you said their words and actions matched so often that’s what’s wrong with people.
This attack against Chick-fil-a is an attack against Christianity. In modern day America it seems everything else is “tolerated” except someone (or a corporation) following Jesus’ teachings. In my view, it just validates those teachings. There would be no need for such strong opposition otherwise.
Look what was necessary to end slavery. Look at the enormity of the Civil Rights struggle or the women’s suffrage movement. All these came at great cost with great opposition.
So I say Rock On Chick-fil-a. You have a right to free speech.
Shannon Milholland recently posted..Premeditated Love
mommetime Aug 2 2012 - 8:41 pm
thank you. yes, free speech. on both accounts… the same freedoms given to CFA, should be given to every one… And here in America, we will continue to have those rights, but we most protect them. it makes my head spin thinking about CFA being singled out, with the out of control crap we’ve got going on with businesses today… here we have a company with principals, I don’t care if people Agee or not…they have principles. they’ve donated 100 million dollars to foster care and marriage programs, the local CFA’s are incredibly generous with local schools, shelters and other family programs. their restaurants are always clean, the people are friendly…not to mention…. privately owned… I feel just as strongly about someone’s right to marry the person of their choice, as I do a persons right to choose their religion.
Amee (inspired-housewife) Aug 2 2012 - 9:45 pm
I loved what you had to say and I also apprieciate the time you spent getting all those details. I do not read the news much, but it is only one man’s opinion and I think people should not give one voice that much power. I might be wrong in thinking this, but what did people expect from the owner of CFA he has always been out there with his religion whether you agree with him or not.
I think we have bigger fish to fry than worry about who is dating who or who is marrying who. There are children starving and people losing their homes and living on the streets with their children.
Thank you for the hard work!
Amee (inspired-housewife) recently posted..Easy Car Upholstery Stain Remover
mommetime Aug 5 2012 - 6:24 pm
I concur… I wanted to convey the extreme, don’t be a hypocrite and the importance of standing up for personal freedoms. I find it most interesting that what is being fought over is what we fight to protect… our personal freedom to choose!
You are welcome… thank you for your thoughtfulness!
Dangerous Linda Aug 3 2012 - 9:57 am
Hi, Amy! ~
Bravo! Your post is a breath of fresh air — smart, relevant and even kinda funny!
Rock on, Sistah!
XOXOX
Dangerous Linda recently posted..friday moment
mommetime Aug 5 2012 - 6:26 pm
THANK YOU!!! I had hoped a little humor would shine through… I so appreciate you!
Martha Orlando Aug 3 2012 - 12:25 pm
Amy, you put so much thought, time, and research into this. Really makes us think!
When it comes right down to it, this is all about freedom of speech and the First Amendment. Chick-fil-a has every right to their opinions and no government official or policy should block their business. People have choices to eat there or not to eat there. Period!
Thanks for a wonderful post, my dear.
Blessings!
Martha Orlando recently posted..Pennies From Heaven
mommetime Aug 5 2012 - 6:28 pm
you’re welcome… thank you very much!
I mention this in one of my other responses… the very thing people are arguing over is the very thing we all try to protect… our personal freedom to choose!
Courtney~Mommy LaDy Club Aug 3 2012 - 3:27 pm
I just don’t like this whole fight with the gays and the Bible folks at all. It cannot be resolved. You are not changing that Bible, and you are not changing the gay person. I am not a religious person, but I know that I am in the minority on that, and so I don’t go rock that boat. Why? There’s no reason to…it doesn’t bother me that there are different opinions. We’re not changing what they do to gay people in the Middle East either. And please do not have boots on the ground for that one! Why are these impossible fights chosen? Why do the Jews and the Muslims all want that one place called Jerusalem all to themselves? Why is that one marriage needed by these two groups? We seem to pick these impossible fights a lot on this planet.
Courtney~Mommy LaDy Club recently posted..Battle of The Leading Men! Round 3: Mathew McConaughey vs. Josh Duhamel
mommetime Aug 5 2012 - 7:23 pm
This has more to do with personal freedom to choose and less to do with religion or same sex marriage for that matter… I am a firm believer that a person has a right to personal choice! It also is a bit hypocritical to boycott one and not the other…
nelieta Aug 4 2012 - 1:28 am
Hi Amy, you have put a lot of time and effort into writing this post. I saw some comments on Facebook about this issue. I enjoyed reading the comments and I can clearly understand why this is such a big issue. Thank you for sharing.
nelieta recently posted..The funny dog
mommetime Aug 5 2012 - 7:23 pm
Thank you for sharing…
J. R. Nova Aug 4 2012 - 6:49 pm
I think the wisest among us are those who realize that we don’t NEED to change, that we’re what we are and that this is enough. Acceptance is a great thing…
A healthy dose of “live and let live” would go a long way in making our world a more peaceful, inclusive place. Both sides of most arguments could take that to heart and let people be who they are. The irony is, if we did that, people would probably gravitate more toward center than they would if they were pushed there (the common human reaction to being pushed is to push back). Change would be a natural side effect, not a necessity.
J. R. Nova recently posted..Prelude: Tao of Anxiety
mommetime Aug 5 2012 - 7:29 pm
ah… points well made!
I concur… acceptance is a great thing! It isn’t always about changing others, sometimes its about having the courage to use one’s voice to speak out against hypocrisy.
I like what you said about change… “Change would be a natural side effect, not a necessity” … indeed!