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Aug 12

One More Time

I had been sober for years; I thought I had conquered my demons. I thought I had the tools to combat life. You see, I was sober, but still thinking life was a combat zone. I did not realize that which was in me could not be conquered on will-power, or sobriety alone… I had something that went beyond addiction.

 

So, why not ask for help; I didn’t know I needed help… I thought I needed relief. I had sought relief almost all my life, and usually found it at the bottom of the bottle, but that no longer worked.

 

I was sober. My life so much different; sober. My life so much better; sober. Looking back, because then, I would never have called it depression; depression’s ugly, shameful, so what ever it was, it hit hard. I felt tremendous shame, so I did what old ideas tell me to do… I kept it secret.

 

“It waits. It lays in wait for the time when you think, ‘It’s fine now, I’m OK.’ Then, the next thing you know, it’s not OK. –Robin Williams

 

I see, looking back, hindsight, that my family tried to help.  I see, looking back, hindsight, that friends tried to help. I wasn’t one that could be helped, then. You cannot force or will or wish a person well. You can lead them, but…

 

mommetime blog, causes, addiction, depression, One More TimeI think on some level we all have a fundamental want, need, hope to help those we think are in need. I know I do. And, then there are those who think time and time again they have power to control the actions of another, sadly, that is as doable as holding on to water with one’s bare hand.

 

So, saying, why doesn’t someone help? Why didn’t someone force them to get help? You might as well forgo the words and just throat punch them instead because someone has tried to help, has tried to force, has prayed, has wished, has pleaded.

 

Mental illness does not discriminate, and its meanness penetrating the family unit causing havoc and harm to everyone in its path… taking prisoners; holding the entire family captive. At some point seeking help, becomes the only option; ultimately, those suffering has to want help.

 

“But you can’t. That’s the bottom line,” he said. “You really think you can, then you realize, I need help, and that’s the word … It’s hard admitting it, then once you’ve done that, it’s real easy.” –Robin Williams

 

It’s hard admitting you need help, but once you do it’s real easy; until it isn’t because mental illness doesn’t always just go away and never come back. And some people have no more one more time in them to fight the fight…

 

Do we give up? Quit, permanently. Oh man… I hope not because that option hurts hard. No, we cannot quit. I cannot stomach the thought of it. We must search for solutions, find a reason, find the beauty in life, right… right? Hope, life and love has to, in the end, trump despair.

 

Suicide takes the lives of nearly 30,000 Americans every year. ..

 

sophiealder.tumblr.com

If you are suffering; I hope you’ll seek and find the help you so deserve… I know words are hard to find when asking for help, I know the phone is heavy… you are worth it –seek!

 

 

 

 


It is not too uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.
Eckhart Tolle
Choose help. Choose life. Choose recovery. You are worth it.

I am most certainly not a doctor, so let me say that psychological and/or medical treatment can help with a person’s recovery from depression and anxiety, there are also many other ways people can help themselves to get better and stay well… Living one day at a time –maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Learning ways to reduce stress and anxiety. Speaking Up, talking to others. Eating Healthy. Movement –Exercise. Laughter. Meditation. Rest. Recognizing triggers. These things work for me.
Aug 6

Wordless Wednesday: Pockets Full of Pebbles


Pockets full of pebbles, outdoor play, kids playWordless Wednesday:

Pockets Full of Pebbles

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Wordless Wednesday: Pocket Full of Pebbles


Jun 15

Extraordinary things…

Extraordinary things…


mommetime blog, fathers day, mommetime, blog, life stories
The Sailor and I began our parenting journey almost a decade ago; yet, it wasn’t until several years in that I realized the magnitude of how truly ill-prepared we were for such an extraordinary adventure.

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Jun 14

Summer, Fireflies, and Drinking More Coffee

Summer, Fireflies, and Drinking More Coffee

 

The other night it all started when my youngest daughter wanted to catch lightning bugs; neat, fun summer thing to do. I’d plop down on the comfy chair underneath the ceiling fan, behind the screened porch that overlooks the then freshly mowed lawn. I’d read, drink coffee; whilst the children frolic about capturing fireflies.

La. La. La. La. La.

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Mar 28

Hobby Lobby |Odd wo-man out…

 

I’m not an activist; I don’t look for controversy. I’m not a political person, but I’m a person with compassion. I care passionately about equal rights. I care about human rights.

Ellen DeGeneres

 

Yep. What she said…

What is up with Hobby Lobby? You may have heard about the Christian-closed-on-Sundays-family-owned crafts supply chain which is challenging the health-care mandate in the Supreme Court.

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Mar 13

Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles… frozen bubbles

Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles… frozen bubbles

 

“There is just no angry way to say bubbles…”

 

bubbles, photography, how to

Awhile back flipping through yahoo news I came across an article about this woman and her son who blew bubbles on a freezing day, and the pictures were super cool, so of course, I had to try.

 

All that you’ll need are bubble making supplies and a camera and freezing temperatures, oh and an early morning sunrise is helpful.

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Mar 8

It’s a wrap |February

It’s a wrap |February

 

Jail-house orange and blizzards and V.D. and forgetting my kid; it was a bat-shat crazy month.

It’s a wrap | February Confessions

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Feb 20

The Ugly… and a wretch like me

The Ugly… and a wretch like me
I swore it was over, and this time I meant it; this time was different because this time I had a job that I loved, I was proud of my performance, I wanted to succeed, I was good at it, as in really good; I was climbing my way up the corporate ladder.

 

Like so many times before, I tried making different with stuff, geographical fixes, oh, and people, so many people, I recycled people with little thought of their feelings, well-being because if selfish me could find that right person surely things would be different, better, but that didn’t work, so maybe a job was the answer; a job, yes, I just knew this time would be different.

 

Only this time was no different; circumstance different, yes, but no matter what I did or where I went there I was on familiar ground, in search of oblivion, with only one way to get there, and that’s through obliteration… many is never enough, and one is too many.

 

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Feb 6

Three Hundred and Thirteen

Three Hundred and Thirteen
Right now, right this minute, this day may seem like the best, or longest, or worst, or happiest, or sadist, whatever kind of day; the day happens fast.
Boom…
the frequency in which I buy shoes and food and clothing for my quickly, ain’t gonna slow-growing kids, serves as a great reminder of how absolutely, truly, absurdly fast life happens.

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Jan 18

Daily Chill |Phone Prank

Daily Chill |Phone Prank, humor, prank, mommetime blog, blog

Are you a sports fan? Me, not so much, but I am a fan of pranks, and funny…

 

 

 

 

Have a listen:

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 If evolution really works, how come mothers


only have two hands? --Milton Berle
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